So I recently read an article about how Chick Flicks are ruining women's perception of love, and are causing real life romance problems. The University of Edinburgh did a study based on films from 1995-2005. I found this to be incredibly though provoking, being someone who watches a lot of chick flicks. Brace yourself, I tend to be a long winded writer.
Their main argument is that because of chick flicks people seem to think that there is fate that will bring you together, and hence people communicate in relationships less because they assume it should work out, from the beginning, and fail to recognize the effort needed to build and sustain the relationship. I agree that chick flicks perpetuate this image, and that it is not realistic. I have had the fortune of having many adult mentors in my life, and to be part of a family who models "successful marriage". None of the marriages I have ever witnessed have ended in divorce, from my grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and family friends. This is incredible in and of itself. All these relationships I have witnessed look completely different, and none of them have the glamor of a chick flick, because they are reality. They are founded in deep trust, and years of working to build the relationship.
I personally feel that Chick Flicks also set an unrealistic expectation of grand gestures. They make you think that someday, you are going to be swept off your feet, in the pouring rain, and you will be forever happy. The thing is, that real life doesn’t work like this, and love comes from the little things. The looks that make you feel like you are the most important person in the world, the hugs at the end of a bad day, the understanding between two people of what the other needs. Every love story doesn’t have a huge moment of a romantic get together, they start and end mixed into normal, everyday life.
Also, chick flicks stop, they never show the after the grand gesture, or the point where the two individuals finally get together. They capture the moment of happiness and newness, they don’t address what happens next, when one of the people has to move away, or you get in a fight, or you are just tired. Chick Flicks lead you to believe that a grand gesture will always make up for it, but as they point out in 10 Things I Hate About You, you can’t just buy a guitar every time you screw up. Grand gestures may seem great, but they aren’t a functional way to sustain a relationship.
All that being said, I think that chick flicks provide some good to society. I think that chick flicks can show good examples of love, and more so great examples of characters to aspire to be, or to find. I specifically want to mention a few of the male leads in chick flicks, and why I like them.
Tyler Prince- He is the heartthrob of the movie Sydney White. Throughout the movie, he holds as an all around good guy. He is involved in his campus life, community service, and projects to better the future of his community. Yet, he is still written as a character that learns and grows. He meets a not so typical girl, and he learns that a normal guy can have lots of shapes and sizes.
Cameron- This character from 10 Things I Hate about you, is just so normal its hard not to love him. He is a somewhat awkward acting and looking boy, totally clueless on how to actually ask a girl out. He works amazingly hard to get the girl, who he stands up for, and just thinks is amazing.
Christian - This character, from Moulin Rouge, will always hold a special place in my life because the man can sing. More than that though, this character is off on an adventure to see the world. He got out of his comfort zone, to pursue a dream. He is a bit naive, but he learns and grows out in the world and becomes a man who loves with his whole heart, in little and big ways.
Mr. Darcy- He may be the fictional love of my life. Mr. Darcy, (pick your favorite Pride and Prejudice, or Bridget Jones even), is a man a depth and mystery. He is a very loyal friend, and he will bend over backwards and not worry about the cost to prove that he is dedicated. He is surly and off putting at first, but as the story develops we find he is a man of deep emotion and great love.
Captain America- Ok, I am aware that he is not a part of a chick flick, but I really love his character. He is the little guy, who is dedicated to his country, brave, cares about his family and stays good to his core. I suppose that’s why he’s a super hero.
So who is my Prince Charming? None of these guys, though some of the qualities I would take. At the end of the day, or the movie, I just someone normal who is willing to put in the everyday effort.
